بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم
|My classmates form 4,5|
|2010- KAKOM, Track and Field, Preparation to Johor (KMJ)|
|2011- Pencak Silat, GANDA SAGA|
|2011- 1st year, surrounded with lovely friends and its a bit 'honey moon year'|
|2013- My third year life.|
When i rewind and refresh my memories, it hurt me so much. My life completely rotate 180°. From the most active student in school to a nerdy and freaky.
I didn't noticed that i was slowly changed. The reason wasn't the course i'm taking, medical course nor my surrounding.
It just me who had changed. Slowly. Deep inside of me. Feel rejected and neglected, I'm losing my confidence day by day. Getting thinner and skinnier. This might be the reason i'm avoiding the world. Keep away from friends. Grounded my self in room. And the result...? It just getting worse. Even though it is look perfect in others eyes, it isn't. I'm physically, emotionally and mentally disturb.
Back then, i'm just perfectly fit to run as far as i want. Now, i can't even reach 3rd floor without take a break.
Few years ago, i was awarded as best speaker hostel district level debate but now, i can't even speak properly. Stutter. I can't even speak out things that i want. If someone talk to me, i'll simply replied 'okay', using body language like shaking head (as no) or nodding (as yes) or anything else as long as i can replied them without long conversation. Even simply smile to replied. Psychiatric disorder? Who knows?
Feeling down? Wake up and fight. Everything we have today belongs to Allah. Gifts from the almighty. We lent from Him. Physical strength, ability to smell, hear, health or anything belongs to Allah. Without being arrogant, be thankful for what we have today, before we losing it.
A mental disorder or psychiatric disorder is a mental or behavioral pattern or anomaly that causes distress or disability, and which is not developmentally or socially normative. Mental disorders are generally defined by a combination of how a person feels, acts, thinks or perceives. This may be associated with particular regions or functions of the brain or rest of the nervous system, often in a social context. The recognition and understanding of mental health conditions have changed over time and across cultures and there are still variations in definition, assessment and classification, although standard guideline criteria are widely used. - Wiki
إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهَ رَاجِعُوْنَ
“Sesungguhnya kita milik Allah dan kepada-Nya kita kembali.”
|Nick Vujicic, man with no arm and no legs|
Shahabiyah Ummu Salamah menyebutkan sabda Nabi Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam:
مَا مِنْ مُسْلِمٍ تُصِيْبُهُ مُصِيْبَةٌ فَيَقُوْلُ مَا أَمَرَهُ اللهُ: إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُوْنَ اللَّهُمَّ أْجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيْبَتِي وَاخْلُفْ لِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا؛ إِلاَّ أَخْلَفَ اللهُ لَهُ خَيْرًا مِنْهَا
“Tiada seorang muslim yang ditimpa musibah lalu ia mengatakan apa yang diperintahkan Allah (yaitu): ‘Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un, wahai Allah, berilah aku pahala pada (musibah) yang menimpaku dan berilah ganti bagiku yang lebih baik darinya’; kecuali Allah memberikan kepadanya yang lebih baik darinya.” (HR. Muslim no. 918)
Islam warriors, Wake up!!! Wake up!!! Wake up!!! Strengthen our self. Arrange our strategies, fight our strongest and biggest enemy, negative whisper inside us.
"Hai orang-orang yang beriman, mintalah pertolongan kepada Allah dengan sabar dan solat. Sesungguhnya Allah beserta orang-orang yang sabar." [Al-Baqarah, 2:153]
And i'm keep fighting everyday...